just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize