Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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