i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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