so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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