he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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