I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
