i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
