hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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