what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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