Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
