OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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