he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
