I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
