I'm jealous of your bromance
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
