I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
