You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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