I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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