I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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