Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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