TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
