I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
