Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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