These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
