Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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