We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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