i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
