Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I want a musical about memes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
