i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
