Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
