I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
