butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is Oprah even human
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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