umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
