Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
