u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
