I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize