forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
