he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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