She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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