Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
