The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize