i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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