ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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