so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
