i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize