Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
