i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize