Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize