Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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