how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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