Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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