To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone came in the potted fern
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
