Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
