He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
