You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
