No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
