Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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