Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
