She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
