Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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